Up to your waist in water, Up to your eyes in slush, Using the kind of language That makes the sergeants blush; Who wouldn't join the army, That's what we all enquire, Don't we pity the poor civilians Sitting beside the fire ?
Chorus: Oh! Oh! Oh! It's a lovely war, Who wouldn't be a soldier, eh ? Oh, it's a shame to take the pay.
As soon as reveille has gone We feel just as heavy as lead, But we never get up till the sergeant Brings our breakfast up to bed. What do you want with eggs and ham When you've got plum and apple jam ? Form fours! Right turn! How shall we spend the money we earn ?
When does a soldier grumble ? When does a soldier make a fuss ? No one is more contented In all the world than us. Oh, it's a cushy life, boys, Really, we love it so; Once a fellow was sent on leave And simply refused to go.
Come to the cook-house door, boys, Sniff at the lovely stew, Who is it says the colonel Gets better grub than you ? Any complaints this morning? Do we complain ? Not we. What's the matter with lumps of onion Floating around the tea ?